Do you ever get really excited by a new endeavor at the beginning, only to lose momentum as you struggle to sustain your efforts?

I do!

If you’ve been around for awhile, you’ll notice I haven’t posted in, well, awhile…

I feared this might happen. It’s one of the main reasons I was nervous to start a blog, actually. You see, this isn’t my first rodeo, er, blog.

I’ve hosted two blogs before- one when I studied abroad in Dublin, Ireland for a semester, and one while I did the World Race mission trip and traveled around the world for almost a year.

Both times, writing a blog felt like a natural way to both reflect on the life-changing experiences I was having, and an easy way to take my loved ones back home on the journey with me. While stressful at times, I thoroughly enjoyed writing both blogs.

This time feels a bit different, though. I’m writing this post, for example, on my porch here in Indianapolis, not from the breathtaking Cliffs of Moher or the stunning Sahara Desert. It feels a bit pretentious at this point to assume anyone wants to see these blog pictures of my struggling squash plants instead of some gorgeous scenery:

Maybe that’s why I haven’t written in a hot minute :). It’s easy to write posts and share pictures when you’re traveling the world, out living a “grand adventure.” Especially when you want to thank the people who supported you getting to go on said adventures!

And yet, if I think about my other motivations for writing those other blogs, the reflection piece of it all, I’m forced to reconsider.

Am I not still changing and growing here, even right at home?

A few months ago, my husband and I picked up, oh, twenty or so free seed packets from our local library. Thrilled with our haul, we planted them all in these cute little starter boxes, and we eagerly watered them and waited for them to grow:

With much joy, we watched them spring up much faster than we anticipated, and we suddenly found ourselves wondering where to plant 96 starters, since we never imagined they would ALL sprout:

We hadn’t even anticipated planting any in the ground this year, so naturally, we went to Lowe’s and panic-bought a dozen or so pots and containers:

(Mind you, we had also bought a handful of starters, that definitely felt like cheating, but also gave us a solid backup plan).

We began questioning what we would do when all 96 plants, or however many survived, truly sprang up. We dreamed about summer dinners stocked with veggies from our very own plants. We loved watching their daily progress, amazed at how quickly our little plants were sprouting!

And then…

Nothing.

Some of them actually seemed to start dying instead of growing.

Cue the sad little squash plants from earlier:

Looking at many of our sprouts now doesn’t give much confidence that we will get any fully grown plants this summer, let alone enough to produce actual food.

But isn’t that how new endeavors go sometimes? Don’t we often reach early success and momentum, only to slow down once we’re really in the thick of it? Don’t we all experience false starts?

That’s how I’ve felt with this blog, truth be told. I hit it hard at first, armed with a plan and a backlog of post ideas. Nervous but eager to invite friends and family to follow along.

And here I am again, trying to work up the audacity to post again after weeks (months?) of nothing.

So, lovely wildflowers, if you’re still reading this (especially if you subscribed early and have been eagerly awaiting the next post…), thank you. Thank you for taking the time to read this and follow along with my journey, even if it isn’t on a glamorous trip, or a consistent cadence.

Thank you for your grace with what I’m sure won’t be the last of my false starts.

Thank you for understanding that while we all might face false starts from time to time, we can still pick it back up.

We can still keep growing, together :).

Here’s to you, wildflowers. If you’re facing something you’ve put down for awhile, maybe out of fear or uncertainty of how it would turn out, even if it feels like it’s been “too long”, I encourage you to try picking it up again this week. See how good it feels to get back in the swing of it. Imagine how it might turn out if you don’t give up all together. See if you can still have fun with it :).

Dare to see what keeps growing if you keep going.

And please send any gardening tips my way! 🙂